North Node [rahu] in 1st House
In past lives, you relied too much on partners, even losing your own identity in your sacrifice for others. You were dependent and/or dominated by a spouse, friend, confidant, or other person. With the memory of such dependency and partnership, there is danger you will marry early and/or for the wrong reasons. Further, you may have a semi-conscious or unconscious fear of losing your partners, which makes you especially dependent. A successful marriage may come later in life.
Because of past experiences, you may not even know who you really are. You are here in this lifetime to be an individual with all that that entails. Strive to develop a personality that is distinctive and that others recognize as your own. Take a stand without regard to how others react to it or what they think about it. You must resist at every opportunity the temptation to be a people-pleaser.
these natives, with their fond memories of teamwork and cooperation, find the process of individuation particularly painful. They have, explains Schulman, a soul longing to discover themselves after having lost their identity in others, and yet an equally strong desire not to hurt those close to them in the process of doing so. They must take on the mission of establishing a sense of self but do so “without shutting off completely the benefits of marriage and partnerships.“ In the process of striking this balance, there may come a time when you overcompensate, being too aggressive or even obnoxious. Keep your ego in check, and eventually you will find the right chord.
It will do your soul good to accept leadership positions in this lifetime. It is also good for you to take the initiative. However, be wary of seeking power. You cannot make up for past mistakes in relationships by becoming a dictator, though you will be tempted to dominate others once you wake up to the ways people have taken advantage of you in the past.
Some people with this placement of the north node in 1st house go to extremes with their appearances. You may make a point of not tending to how you present yourself, thereby alienating others. Or you may obsess over every detail of your grooming. Try to avoid both these extremes. You do need to make a good impression on others, and your physical appearance is an important part of this and one reflection of yourself; however, there is a limit. You must understand that your appearance is just that: your appearance. It is not your actual self.
Own your need for recognition. You are here to be an individual, which means standing out. Take the time to figure out what you think. Do not waiver from your views when they become inconvenient or unpopular. If you are a good friend to yourself, offering support and encouragement to your own self as you have done for others, even in the face of opposition and at the risk of creating disharmony, you will find a deep reservoir of courage you did not know you had. It is important to understand, though, that the North Node in 1st House nodal position is not about philosophical conviction; it is about learning how to be yourself.
Resist the temptation to wait for others to offer their opinion first or to tell you what you should think or do think. Because your placement is north node in 1st house, you will be happy when you come to your own conclusions and stand up for yourself.
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